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Honestly

by Kendall Swan

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1.
"I Love You" 02:45
I can hear her out the door She’s lost it again, I’m sure Screaming, crying, who knows what for Yea, she finds things to endure Gotta weigh down what you feel Gotta make this more for real Like a novel, a movie, Yea, you try hard to move me But I’m always unimpressed Your art makes you a mess In the room, he turns the lock And the sunglasses fall off I can see it in his eyes The theme’s unsaid, always implied Yea, lately it’s been rough And these months have piled up With all the things we don’t talk about You know I won’t call you out You won’t go before me Cause I’m a liar, honestly Moments of clarity The answers they stare at me I sort through all this doubt To spit it out (“Man, I fucking love you”) And the truth isn’t blurred a bit I mean every word of this Cause I wait until I should To make it feel so good Yea, this feels so good
2.
He’s hunched over on the side of the house now He lies and tells me it’s the music it’s just too loud “God I hate your self destructive style” And you think it makes you worthwhile with Those hopeless moments when your trust just turns into doubt And you get high off of your sadness as you check out Then sink down with the words you swallow But your eyes burn light to follow So I hope that we get tired of this act Burying the point in the collapse I storm out and swear I’ll fade to black But you call me and I come right back I kick the habit with the leaves up into the air Throw my shades on and I tell myself I do not care Smile often to fight these heavy thoughts Sentences I wish I forgot I’ve got this critic that I’m dying to appease, though With thoughts acidic, yea, it kills me but you don’t know Cause I would not let you under my skin Yea, but who was I trying to kid With these umbrellas embedded into my eyes It’s raining on my Side of Paradise Make sure you’re grounded when the wind blows Or drop the act and just let go
3.
Rain 04:35
Would you fall in love with someone As they got into their car singing the blues Because you want them too It's the way your passion Feels so poignant, and you keep pushing against my head Until I see blood red And now I feel like I've got fangs And I just want to sink them into you But this always spins around I am the cut and you're the dirt It hurts to hurt And I keep pretending that I'm sick Because I wish you would call me out on it And tell me that I am full of shit I've got stills playing in my head Of two people who go walking in the rain The springtime rain The woods are outlined in dark green Their shirts, they glow yellow and baby blue And the flowers too They lay down out there alone And as they kiss the rain will start to sing And they'll know everything
4.
Fisher Cat 03:52
Some days I’m winning the fight I got my shirt tucked in tight They shout, I sit content I’m smart and I know it But when I’m in my room, my mind’s a car Wanna see what this baby can do And I turn too sharp I always find some way to fuck this up somehow Now I’m in the woods at night Exploring by starlight Any luck and I’ll get lost Forget this path I’m on But in the brush there’s a set of eyes No surprise, as they stare at my lies It’s a fisher cat He’s gonna attack me, oh, but he takes his time And I wish he would just eat me whole But I am alone I’m ashamed I’m too proud I’ve got no self-doubt So I psych myself out And it’s just to pass the time But I still feel inclined To make the darkness shine I’m a sad, sad clown I pretend I’m down so I stand out But I’m tired of this pose And all these people singing “I am alone”
5.
Drop the Act 04:33
With all these summers I’ve spent Wandering these woods, I guess It’s become my domain Cause I talk with the trees As we shed our leaves And we never are the same And running with two dogs Through ferns and over logs It’s all for the game And if we win the cash Dad says we’ll move real fast And hop right out of this frame One day he brought me to the water, said “Open your eyes and plant your feet” Pointed to town, north across the river, said “That’s where we want to be” So I grew to own the town And know it inside out I sat and watched the summers pass And into love I walked With back porch smoking talks You know those cigarettes burn fast So I document these times Filled up with chords and rhymes They say that “rhymes will make this last Or else your song won’t sell a dime at all” Well you can suck my balls And we’ll leave it in the past One million worlds and two billion heavens So close your eyes and plant your feet And if you’re lucky, you might see into seven But better find the one where you want to be I was the dog, yea, I sat barking treed with My teeth bared and my paws against the tree But oh my god, how wonderful if felt to Drop the act, run south My ears flapping in the wind

about

Recorded at home in Gales Ferry, CT, Summer 2015

credits

released September 28, 2015

All songs written, recorded, performed, and mixed by Kendall Swan
Mastered by Wes Swan
Album cover by Olivia Klinkowski


Thanks Wes, Olivia, Christina, Eric, Elliott, Forest, David, Abby, Justine, Thom, Austin, and all friends and family
Peace, homies!

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Kendall Swan Nashville, Tennessee

business/booking: kswanmanagement@gmail.com

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