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Mama, I'm Gonna Be Rich

by Kendall Swan

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1.
1993 00:49
2.
Yea 03:32
Deb rolls in with working sweat, thin brunette, cigarette Kids are at their dad’s house, Friday and the jack’s out Same and Vic they lost their spot, sparking pot, parking lot Lit bar with the same pack, still got on our name tags, yea Jotting down these passing thoughts, fasten knots, glass and shots Shoot the shit with new face, numbing out my tooth ache When I could be writing sounds, I’m biting down, wiping out Cherry picking facts right, won’t you spit em back like yea Chin tipped up, wades through the slop, flawless snob, office job Chirping about his school now, waiter wipe the stool down Wants his drink 3/4 ice and be precise, oh Jesus Christ Counting down like tick tock, till he gets his shit rocked, yea Fishing affirmation and I raise my can, patient man Trying to bite my tongue down, snap and let it come out Burning red all pissed with me, plainly cause I disagree Default to your high ground, you can drown out my sound, yea I’ve been apt to spit my pride, rip these ties, synthesize Cut back to the truth right, vomit in the moonlight Own it and keep walking on, lock the flaws, rock along Learning I know nothing, everybody’s bluffing So you can laugh and scoff, oh just keep jacking off So self contained, I’m proudly ripping people off, oh yea
3.
Laura 01:30
Laura, what ya doing now I think I blew it how I went and moved to Nashville Raking in the cash still I’m not doing anything No I’m not doing anything at all Oh I tattoo this with my pen I think I knew it when I met you in the 3rd grade Tag out in the dirt, hey I was chasing after you And I was falling all over the place Crying at your lockers blue Your mom was shocked with you Smoking in the drive way Doing things that I say But I was having so much fun I just wanted you to come along And I’ve been thinking bout it way too often Stuck on the playgrounds and the trails that we’d go walking down I see your picture and my mind trails off and I wonder bout you wandering down the paths that I wish I could know I don’t even know you now It kinda bums me out A childhood that I know I can’t turn back time though I just wish you well I wrote this song so I could lock it all away
4.
Sparks 01:11
My plan’s been laid out But I just run my mouth I sold some records, baby, in some other part of town Your every day doubts Chalked up to shit you spout Don’t it feel better, baby, when you type it hard and loud Sparks firing off behind our eyes But how they burn out Ain’t that something to think about
5.
Circles 02:16
Over when the songs come out Couple years of fighting off this doubt Park the car and watch the aeroplane Dreaming of Seattle in the rain Hard to learn my love’s a sham When I saw him looking at his man Knew I couldn’t do it like he did Fumbling, so inadequate Sob into your back at night Cut our losses with a pocket knife Kiss you soft and wish you well Either way it’s gonna hurt like hell Walking in circles, I’m walking in circles I cross a line every time, every head that I explore Circled back when Ahmed died Felt it heavy my entire life Child crying on the bedroom floor Truth is I was never sure what for And I don’t wanna talk with you I just wanna sit alone and do Nothing, bathing in the silence now Never really cared for going out Hard to hear the benzo speak Haven’t had a drink in several weeks Doesn’t matter what the agent is Spiral, upside down abyss Talking in circles, we’re talking in circles You say it’s fine every time, I don’t wanna do this anymore
6.
7.
She was strung out on some hard shit, talk and taper He broke the door on the apartment, knock and razors Now we’re collecting carts, can’t seem to talk much So I’ll just wait at the start I bought her food, sat in the break room clocking nothing Fuck all these people with their fake spew, where you cutting No, no one’s cool all the time, god don’t I know that But you could drop me a line Been trying to kick it on my own now, got new hobbies Kentucky bourbon on the phone loud, drop my body And I’m just floating away, when was this last real All these years are delayed And I ain’t see my sister in three years Hope she’s doing okay at night Bathroom sink and I’m dumping out my beers
8.
You came inside, but there was no one there Spent the afternoon in bed with your hands running through my hair My mind is off in the summer in the south Taste the disconnect between these stupid words in my mouth Like your friends, how ya doing, what’s the job that you’re working I could piss on these talks, let em die, cut the circuit Fuck this place and these fake people, I don’t give a shit What your husband does, your furniture, your jewelry, yea you twit No I’ll be spitting out the toxin locked in my brain I been sitting on this box and pretending I’m sane But I was lying when I told you that I loved you last week I was liquored up and scared of the truth, it’s so bleak Like these streets walking home all fucked up at night And the moon reflects it hard, yea I’m stuck up alright Pull my thumb out of the dike and let it wash this whole town Watch my friends going under in the truth we all drown So if you wanna say shit, I could face it Hit me with the past and I will swallow all it’s laced with This vacation is all wasted Now I’ve got the hangover and I don’t wanna sleep it off I’m drowning in the races, I talk slow Was shouting all my praises, but now I won’t I sing it loud, sing it proud, truth ain’t pretty but it comes out anyhow So spit it out right Cheap liquor makes you slow down quicker But my brother’s getting sicker, baby ain’t life a kicker Still I sat through your wedding while you churned out acid vows And I minced my words for these fast passing mouths But I’m spent with the people and the chips on their shoulders Done with feeding them my energy while I get older Come slight me and then pry to tear my world down any day I will hit you with a smile just to thank you any way Cause I’ve been sleeping on the floor, strapped for cash as of late Got this song I’ve been working on with lyrics that I hate But it’s the game, it’s the hustle in these hot red streets I was jerking off my ego down to dragging my feet In this town I have found you kiss em up and talk em down Turning quick, all these cliques, feeling sick from making rounds I’m turning tricks every day to keep my friends, they’re so renowned I sell my Nashville sound to a motherfucking clown, yea But you could ace it, like your relationships That you’ve been ripping up to sip your adoration Your fixation on filtration Find me at the bottom while you’re rising to the top I’m drowning in the races, I talk slow Was shouting all my praises, but now I won’t I sing it loud, sing it proud, truth ain’t pretty but it comes out anyhow So spit it out right
9.
Broken glass on sidewalks And sirens groan With kicked and chronic lives docked I’m high, laying low Blowing smoke through side talks This guy’s letting go The meadow in his mind’s locked What I want to know
10.
Ahh 03:35
I leave the house afraid Steel toes and pepper spray The past is tugging at my head like it’s a hand grenade Blows up selective facts My mental cataracts I see what’s wrong but nothing else can seem to stay intact I’d ride it out to stop But every car’s a cop And I can’t make myself slow down So chew me up and spit me out Chew me up and spit me out Every day I’m going off the deep end lately Every day I’m lit up inside until I’m burning out Trying to fight it off just makes my heart start racing Every thought just peels it back more I’m tangled up inside Hard logic’s in reverse Each fix will make it worse Recite my progress to myself and watch it all disperse My heart rate’s off the charts I do it all for art Trying not to like all the attention as I come apart My past don’t feel so clean A blurry shower scene And I don’t wanna live it down So clue me in to freak me out Clue me in and freak me out Every day I’m going off the deep end lately Every day I’m lit up inside until I’m burning out Trying to fight it off just makes my heart start racing Every thought just peels it back more I’m tangled up inside Crash into my faith to find Every pillar breaks in time Every year my truth unwinds Just to deposit in my spine Every day I’m going off the deep end maybe Every day I’m lit up inside, but I still burn it out Every sign of weakness is a strength I’m chasing Every breath will steal it some more So I crank it up inside
11.
Lexapro 01:42
12.
Gma 03:40
I didn’t plan on dying this young Driving around in perfect weather Sunshine, iced coffee, the tip of my tongue All I can say is it’s been a pleasure I tip my hat to the neighbor, good Sir He hates my guts, but that’s alright I must remind him of something that hurt But he’ll buy my drinks in the next life My last cash went to a girl on the street She’ll fight the sickness off for a day Nod off, a baby wrapped up in a sheet Life seems to kill you in mysterious ways I drove to my grandma’s house in the fall Apologized about the funeral I drank too much, but I remember it all Ten years of shame with my head on the wall And she said “Honey, I was never angry, I was never mad I’ve seen the flowers in bloom and danny boys laying flat No, you can’t tarnish this love, and I won’t take it back” And I wish I was the same, but I’m so bitter and cracked Don’t wanna hate my guts, but I’m owning the past And I just feel like I’m losing at this balancing act
13.
Lost my friends, I lost my money, hurt the one that I call honey I’m just sitting here in Tennessee, ain’t it kinda funny Yea, I had so much to say, I just tossed it all away Wasting coins up at the laundromat, I cycle through my days, yea Now putting on my outfit, but some stains they won’t come out It’s all a lesson that I learned about trusting people who aren’t grounded Are you interested in me, maybe someone who agrees Now I’m trying to check myself but sometimes it’s so hard to see Feeling friction in my nature, wide eyes watching your behavior I argue with my home town as I learn about new neighbors So I tilt my head and wait, as you love the things I hate But I’m patient and I’m willing so my temper acclimates, yea I could learn to love you My grandma says I ought to I could learn to love you if I tried another way Yea, I could learn to love you God knows I don’t want to But I could learn to love you Make it easy down the way, yea Been cleaning up my rhetoric, it’s partisan and settled in The way I wanna see things, but I know I can do better Than the statues in the park, circle thinking peeling bark No, I cannot leave my roots, but there are some awfully dirty marks So I tattooed on the suture, piece it back up for the future Done with hiding, done with dodging every way that I maneuver Got these days when I just panic, feel I’m slipping off the planet So caught up in myself like every flame I gotta fan it Till I’m burning down the road and not so sure of where I’m going Though I’m keeping to myself, I swear my love is overflowing I’m ready to begin, I wanna know you, where you been Put a lilac on my skin and let it bloom what’s held within, yea I could learn to love you Though I wasn’t taught to I could learn to love you as we go against the grain Yea, I could learn to love you Forget what I thought through I could learn to love you Make it easy down the way, yea Two shots in the chest at a hotel on the east side Tana’s crying over someone that she barely knew But she was sweet, she was kind She was someone’s peace of mind I lit a candle by the dumpster on my break Felt the gravity of another being Now I just wanna love you Be there where I ought to I just wanna love you better every day I just wanna love you All your darker hues too I just wanna love you Take it easy all the way, yea

about

For Tana and Ahmed

Recorded at various homes in Nashville, TN, with additional tracking at Shadow Lane Studios in Nashville, TN, and many of the musicians adding their talents remotely

credits

released March 29, 2023

Andrew Kahl - Drum set 2, 8
Casey Twist - Bass Guitar 3
Zack Levine - Drum Set 3
Penina Harte - Vocals 3
Connor Johnston - Vocals 7
Shelbi Albert - Vocals 8
Olivia Klinikowski - Vocals 9
Andrew Preston - Banjo 3, 8, 13, Upright Bass 13, Vocals 13
Cameron Marino - Vocals 13
Claire Freidhof - Vocals 13
Elizabeth Bowman - Vocals 13
Wiley Tanner - Vocals 13
Nick Levine - Pedal Steel 13
Jake Bellows - Vocals 13
Kim Von Paternos - Vocals 11
Hunter Storm Smith - Guitar 10
Kevin Jones - Bass Guitar 10
Doug Jones - Drum Set 10
Phillip Wolfe - Glockenspiel 7, Keys 8, 10, 13, Guitars 8, 10
Kendall Swan - Guitars, Vocals 1-13, Keys 2, 9, 13, Pedal Steel 5, 11, Bass Guitar 2, 4, 8, Drum Set 2, 4

Zack Levine appears courtesy of Rough Trade Records

Mixed by Phillip Wolfe
Mastered by Edsel Holden
Songs written by Kendall Swan

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Kendall Swan Nashville, Tennessee

business/booking: kswanmanagement@gmail.com

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