1. |
1993
00:49
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2. |
Yea
03:32
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Deb rolls in with working sweat, thin brunette, cigarette
Kids are at their dad’s house, Friday and the jack’s out
Same and Vic they lost their spot, sparking pot, parking lot
Lit bar with the same pack, still got on our name tags, yea
Jotting down these passing thoughts, fasten knots, glass and shots
Shoot the shit with new face, numbing out my tooth ache
When I could be writing sounds, I’m biting down, wiping out
Cherry picking facts right, won’t you spit em back like yea
Chin tipped up, wades through the slop, flawless snob, office job
Chirping about his school now, waiter wipe the stool down
Wants his drink 3/4 ice and be precise, oh Jesus Christ
Counting down like tick tock, till he gets his shit rocked, yea
Fishing affirmation and I raise my can, patient man
Trying to bite my tongue down, snap and let it come out
Burning red all pissed with me, plainly cause I disagree
Default to your high ground, you can drown out my sound, yea
I’ve been apt to spit my pride, rip these ties, synthesize
Cut back to the truth right, vomit in the moonlight
Own it and keep walking on, lock the flaws, rock along
Learning I know nothing, everybody’s bluffing
So you can laugh and scoff, oh just keep jacking off
So self contained, I’m proudly ripping people off, oh yea
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3. |
Laura
01:30
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Laura, what ya doing now
I think I blew it how
I went and moved to Nashville
Raking in the cash still
I’m not doing anything
No I’m not doing anything at all
Oh I tattoo this with my pen
I think I knew it when
I met you in the 3rd grade
Tag out in the dirt, hey
I was chasing after you
And I was falling all over the place
Crying at your lockers blue
Your mom was shocked with you
Smoking in the drive way
Doing things that I say
But I was having so much fun
I just wanted you to come along
And I’ve been thinking bout it way too often
Stuck on the playgrounds and the trails that we’d go walking down
I see your picture and my mind trails off and
I wonder bout you wandering down the paths that I wish I could know
I don’t even know you now
It kinda bums me out
A childhood that I know
I can’t turn back time though
I just wish you well
I wrote this song so I could lock it all away
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4. |
Sparks
01:11
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My plan’s been laid out
But I just run my mouth
I sold some records, baby, in some other part of town
Your every day doubts
Chalked up to shit you spout
Don’t it feel better, baby, when you type it hard and loud
Sparks firing off behind our eyes
But how they burn out
Ain’t that something to think about
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5. |
Circles
02:16
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Over when the songs come out
Couple years of fighting off this doubt
Park the car and watch the aeroplane
Dreaming of Seattle in the rain
Hard to learn my love’s a sham
When I saw him looking at his man
Knew I couldn’t do it like he did
Fumbling, so inadequate
Sob into your back at night
Cut our losses with a pocket knife
Kiss you soft and wish you well
Either way it’s gonna hurt like hell
Walking in circles, I’m walking in circles
I cross a line every time, every head that I explore
Circled back when Ahmed died
Felt it heavy my entire life
Child crying on the bedroom floor
Truth is I was never sure what for
And I don’t wanna talk with you
I just wanna sit alone and do
Nothing, bathing in the silence now
Never really cared for going out
Hard to hear the benzo speak
Haven’t had a drink in several weeks
Doesn’t matter what the agent is
Spiral, upside down abyss
Talking in circles, we’re talking in circles
You say it’s fine every time, I don’t wanna do this anymore
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6. |
Shoreline Drive
00:55
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7. |
Grocery Store
03:09
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She was strung out on some hard shit, talk and taper
He broke the door on the apartment, knock and razors
Now we’re collecting carts, can’t seem to talk much
So I’ll just wait at the start
I bought her food, sat in the break room clocking nothing
Fuck all these people with their fake spew, where you cutting
No, no one’s cool all the time, god don’t I know that
But you could drop me a line
Been trying to kick it on my own now, got new hobbies
Kentucky bourbon on the phone loud, drop my body
And I’m just floating away, when was this last real
All these years are delayed
And I ain’t see my sister in three years
Hope she’s doing okay at night
Bathroom sink and I’m dumping out my beers
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8. |
Nashville Sound
03:56
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You came inside, but there was no one there
Spent the afternoon in bed with your hands running through my hair
My mind is off in the summer in the south
Taste the disconnect between these stupid words in my mouth
Like your friends, how ya doing, what’s the job that you’re working
I could piss on these talks, let em die, cut the circuit
Fuck this place and these fake people, I don’t give a shit
What your husband does, your furniture, your jewelry, yea you twit
No I’ll be spitting out the toxin locked in my brain
I been sitting on this box and pretending I’m sane
But I was lying when I told you that I loved you last week
I was liquored up and scared of the truth, it’s so bleak
Like these streets walking home all fucked up at night
And the moon reflects it hard, yea I’m stuck up alright
Pull my thumb out of the dike and let it wash this whole town
Watch my friends going under in the truth we all drown
So if you wanna say shit, I could face it
Hit me with the past and I will swallow all it’s laced with
This vacation is all wasted
Now I’ve got the hangover and I don’t wanna sleep it off
I’m drowning in the races, I talk slow
Was shouting all my praises, but now I won’t
I sing it loud, sing it proud, truth ain’t pretty but it comes out anyhow
So spit it out right
Cheap liquor makes you slow down quicker
But my brother’s getting sicker, baby ain’t life a kicker
Still I sat through your wedding while you churned out acid vows
And I minced my words for these fast passing mouths
But I’m spent with the people and the chips on their shoulders
Done with feeding them my energy while I get older
Come slight me and then pry to tear my world down any day
I will hit you with a smile just to thank you any way
Cause I’ve been sleeping on the floor, strapped for cash as of late
Got this song I’ve been working on with lyrics that I hate
But it’s the game, it’s the hustle in these hot red streets
I was jerking off my ego down to dragging my feet
In this town I have found you kiss em up and talk em down
Turning quick, all these cliques, feeling sick from making rounds
I’m turning tricks every day to keep my friends, they’re so renowned
I sell my Nashville sound to a motherfucking clown, yea
But you could ace it, like your relationships
That you’ve been ripping up to sip your adoration
Your fixation on filtration
Find me at the bottom while you’re rising to the top
I’m drowning in the races, I talk slow
Was shouting all my praises, but now I won’t
I sing it loud, sing it proud, truth ain’t pretty but it comes out anyhow
So spit it out right
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9. |
New Britain, CT
01:23
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Broken glass on sidewalks
And sirens groan
With kicked and chronic lives docked
I’m high, laying low
Blowing smoke through side talks
This guy’s letting go
The meadow in his mind’s locked
What I want to know
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10. |
Ahh
03:35
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I leave the house afraid
Steel toes and pepper spray
The past is tugging at my head like it’s a hand grenade
Blows up selective facts
My mental cataracts
I see what’s wrong but nothing else can seem to stay intact
I’d ride it out to stop
But every car’s a cop
And I can’t make myself slow down
So chew me up and spit me out
Chew me up and spit me out
Every day I’m going off the deep end lately
Every day I’m lit up inside until I’m burning out
Trying to fight it off just makes my heart start racing
Every thought just peels it back more
I’m tangled up inside
Hard logic’s in reverse
Each fix will make it worse
Recite my progress to myself and watch it all disperse
My heart rate’s off the charts
I do it all for art
Trying not to like all the attention as I come apart
My past don’t feel so clean
A blurry shower scene
And I don’t wanna live it down
So clue me in to freak me out
Clue me in and freak me out
Every day I’m going off the deep end lately
Every day I’m lit up inside until I’m burning out
Trying to fight it off just makes my heart start racing
Every thought just peels it back more
I’m tangled up inside
Crash into my faith to find
Every pillar breaks in time
Every year my truth unwinds
Just to deposit in my spine
Every day I’m going off the deep end maybe
Every day I’m lit up inside, but I still burn it out
Every sign of weakness is a strength I’m chasing
Every breath will steal it some more
So I crank it up inside
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11. |
Lexapro
01:42
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12. |
Gma
03:40
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I didn’t plan on dying this young
Driving around in perfect weather
Sunshine, iced coffee, the tip of my tongue
All I can say is it’s been a pleasure
I tip my hat to the neighbor, good Sir
He hates my guts, but that’s alright
I must remind him of something that hurt
But he’ll buy my drinks in the next life
My last cash went to a girl on the street
She’ll fight the sickness off for a day
Nod off, a baby wrapped up in a sheet
Life seems to kill you in mysterious ways
I drove to my grandma’s house in the fall
Apologized about the funeral
I drank too much, but I remember it all
Ten years of shame with my head on the wall
And she said “Honey, I was never angry, I was never mad
I’ve seen the flowers in bloom and danny boys laying flat
No, you can’t tarnish this love, and I won’t take it back”
And I wish I was the same, but I’m so bitter and cracked
Don’t wanna hate my guts, but I’m owning the past
And I just feel like I’m losing at this balancing act
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13. |
||||
Lost my friends, I lost my money, hurt the one that I call honey
I’m just sitting here in Tennessee, ain’t it kinda funny
Yea, I had so much to say, I just tossed it all away
Wasting coins up at the laundromat, I cycle through my days, yea
Now putting on my outfit, but some stains they won’t come out
It’s all a lesson that I learned about trusting people who aren’t grounded
Are you interested in me, maybe someone who agrees
Now I’m trying to check myself but sometimes it’s so hard to see
Feeling friction in my nature, wide eyes watching your behavior
I argue with my home town as I learn about new neighbors
So I tilt my head and wait, as you love the things I hate
But I’m patient and I’m willing so my temper acclimates, yea
I could learn to love you
My grandma says I ought to
I could learn to love you if I tried another way
Yea, I could learn to love you
God knows I don’t want to
But I could learn to love you
Make it easy down the way, yea
Been cleaning up my rhetoric, it’s partisan and settled in
The way I wanna see things, but I know I can do better
Than the statues in the park, circle thinking peeling bark
No, I cannot leave my roots, but there are some awfully dirty marks
So I tattooed on the suture, piece it back up for the future
Done with hiding, done with dodging every way that I maneuver
Got these days when I just panic, feel I’m slipping off the planet
So caught up in myself like every flame I gotta fan it
Till I’m burning down the road and not so sure of where I’m going
Though I’m keeping to myself, I swear my love is overflowing
I’m ready to begin, I wanna know you, where you been
Put a lilac on my skin and let it bloom what’s held within, yea
I could learn to love you
Though I wasn’t taught to
I could learn to love you as we go against the grain
Yea, I could learn to love you
Forget what I thought through
I could learn to love you
Make it easy down the way, yea
Two shots in the chest at a hotel on the east side
Tana’s crying over someone that she barely knew
But she was sweet, she was kind
She was someone’s peace of mind
I lit a candle by the dumpster on my break
Felt the gravity of another being
Now I just wanna love you
Be there where I ought to
I just wanna love you better every day
I just wanna love you
All your darker hues too
I just wanna love you
Take it easy all the way, yea
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