Honestly

by Kendall Swan

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1.
02:45
2.
3.
04:35
4.
03:52
5.
04:33

credits

released September 28, 2015

All songs written, recorded, performed, and mixed by Kendall Swan
Mastered by Wes Swan
Album cover by Olivia Klinkowski


Thanks Wes, Olivia, Christina, Eric, Elliott, Forest, David, Abby, Justine, Thom, Austin, and all friends and family
Peace, homies!

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about

Kendall Swan Ledyard, Connecticut

Hi! I'm Kendall. I'm 23 and from Connecticut. I make all sorts of alternative/rock/pop music. I also put out Youtube covers sometimes. Thanks for visiting!

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Track Name: "I Love You"
I can hear her out the door
She’s lost it again, I’m sure
Screaming, crying, who knows what for
Yea, she finds things to endure
Gotta weigh down what you feel
Gotta make this more for real
Like a novel, a movie,
Yea, you try hard to move me
But I’m always unimpressed
Your art makes you a mess

In the room, he turns the lock
And the sunglasses fall off
I can see it in his eyes
The theme’s unsaid, always implied
Yea, lately it’s been rough
And these months have piled up
With all the things we don’t talk about
You know I won’t call you out
You won’t go before me
Cause I’m a liar, honestly

Moments of clarity
The answers they stare at me
I sort through all this doubt
To spit it out (“Man, I fucking love you”)
And the truth isn’t blurred a bit
I mean every word of this
Cause I wait until I should
To make it feel so good
Yea, this feels so good
Track Name: Kick the Leaves
He’s hunched over on the side of the house now
He lies and tells me it’s the music it’s just too loud
“God I hate your self destructive style”
And you think it makes you worthwhile with
Those hopeless moments when your trust just turns into doubt
And you get high off of your sadness as you check out
Then sink down with the words you swallow
But your eyes burn light to follow

So I hope that we get tired of this act
Burying the point in the collapse
I storm out and swear I’ll fade to black
But you call me and I come right back

I kick the habit with the leaves up into the air
Throw my shades on and I tell myself I do not care
Smile often to fight these heavy thoughts
Sentences I wish I forgot
I’ve got this critic that I’m dying to appease, though
With thoughts acidic, yea, it kills me but you don’t know
Cause I would not let you under my skin
Yea, but who was I trying to kid

With these umbrellas embedded into my eyes
It’s raining on my Side of Paradise
Make sure you’re grounded when the wind blows
Or drop the act and just let go
Track Name: Rain
Would you fall in love with someone
As they got into their car singing the blues
Because you want them too
It's the way your passion
Feels so poignant, and you keep pushing against my head
Until I see blood red
And now I feel like I've got fangs
And I just want to sink them into you

But this always spins around
I am the cut and you're the dirt
It hurts to hurt
And I keep pretending that I'm sick
Because I wish you would call me out on it
And tell me that I am full of shit

I've got stills playing in my head
Of two people who go walking in the rain
The springtime rain
The woods are outlined in dark green
Their shirts, they glow yellow and baby blue
And the flowers too
They lay down out there alone
And as they kiss the rain will start to sing
And they'll know everything
Track Name: Fisher Cat
Some days I’m winning the fight
I got my shirt tucked in tight
They shout, I sit content
I’m smart and I know it
But when I’m in my room, my mind’s a car
Wanna see what this baby can do
And I turn too sharp
I always find some way to fuck this up somehow

Now I’m in the woods at night
Exploring by starlight
Any luck and I’ll get lost
Forget this path I’m on
But in the brush there’s a set of eyes
No surprise, as they stare at my lies
It’s a fisher cat
He’s gonna attack me, oh, but he takes his time
And I wish he would just eat me whole
But I am alone

I’m ashamed I’m too proud
I’ve got no self-doubt
So I psych myself out
And it’s just to pass the time
But I still feel inclined
To make the darkness shine

I’m a sad, sad clown
I pretend I’m down so I stand out
But I’m tired of this pose
And all these people singing “I am alone”
Track Name: Drop the Act
With all these summers I’ve spent
Wandering these woods, I guess
It’s become my domain
Cause I talk with the trees
As we shed our leaves
And we never are the same
And running with two dogs
Through ferns and over logs
It’s all for the game
And if we win the cash
Dad says we’ll move real fast
And hop right out of this frame

One day he brought me to the water, said
“Open your eyes and plant your feet”
Pointed to town, north across the river, said
“That’s where we want to be”

So I grew to own the town
And know it inside out
I sat and watched the summers pass
And into love I walked
With back porch smoking talks
You know those cigarettes burn fast
So I document these times
Filled up with chords and rhymes
They say that “rhymes will make this last
Or else your song won’t sell a dime at all”
Well you can suck my balls
And we’ll leave it in the past

One million worlds and two billion heavens
So close your eyes and plant your feet
And if you’re lucky, you might see into seven
But better find the one where you want to be

I was the dog, yea, I sat barking treed with
My teeth bared and my paws against the tree
But oh my god, how wonderful if felt to
Drop the act, run south
My ears flapping in the wind